The Beholder’s Sound Reports

Photos will be sent to Michael Morbius 2000, Richmond Goth, and gothic.bc.ca.

Wednesday 9 April 2003

I arrived late. Bruce was working at the door and warned me that the bar was full of drunken rich businessmen giving out life advice. I requested Art of Noise and Thomas Dolby from Bruce. He was pleased to hear about Art of Noise and says he’ll remember to bring it now. Sarah said she’d play my request for “Sex (I’m A…)” by Berlin. Bruce filled my request for Thomas Dolby by playing “She Blinded Me with Science.” It was the only Thomas Dolby song he had but it was still a good song and I danced to it pretty well by my standards.

The bartender (a blonde woman) remembered that I drink Coke and had it ready before I even ordered! I tipped her 50¢, this time while she was looking, and she said thank you. I went to the bathroom. After I urinated, while I was waiting to use the sink to wash my hands, one man came out of the toilet stall and told the man in the front of the sink to assume the position and frisked him. Later I saw the two guys go out the back door together, leaving the back door open, and immediately afterwards I smelled pot coming from outside. The two guys came back in cuddling.

While Bruce was playing “Dancing in the Dark” by Bruce Springsteen, someone in the audience yelled “Bruce!” The richest-looking of the middle-aged businessmen—meaning that he had the biggest blown-dry grey coif, a moustache, and a blue shirt with a white collar—was dancing like crazy at the bar. I made earplugs out of napkin fragments when it got too loud.

I realized that Bruce looks like the comic character Video Jack (created by Cary Bates and Keith Giffen for Epic). The Sean Cullen poster in the bathroom that Ryan likes (“Stay home next Friday night. You’ll save money and score with the same number of women. And be sure to watch The Sean Cullen Show while you’re at it”) had been taken down. This wasn’t too surprising as the show itself had been cancelled a long time ago, but since the poster had stayed up for so long after the show was cancelled, Ryan had hoped to ask about taking it home. On the plus side, the new poster (for Telus) had penguins, which Ryan likes.

I told Bruce my theory about Bach chorales and Rammstein (that the lyrics of any chorale in German can be made to sound like a Rammstein song if you sing them like Rammstein). Bruce already knew all about it—his brother is in the music department at UBC.

Wednesday 2 April 2003

When Joe and I arrived Madeleine was working the door with Paul. Bruce was DJing alone. One reason Sarah wasn’t DJing this time was the recent break-in to her car in which all her music was stolen; Madeleine, Paul, Joe, and I compared car break-in stories. There was a different bartender tonight; a guy. He didn’t give free refills. Bruce had a nice t-shirt: “McLenin,” which he says was from Russia.

Bruce was taking requests; I looked through his CDs and chose “Golden Years¸ by David Bowie. I also wrote “ ‘Disposable Teens’—Marilyn Manson” on the request sheet (in the same handwriting as the word “Requests”) and he didn’t have that, so he mentioned that he also had recent Bowie. I asked if he had Earthling but as it happened he didn’t bring that one. Ditto the Lost Highway soundtrack. I requested “Fashion”—not recent, but a great song in general, and Bruce played it.

On the video screen was an interesting 1970s Romero zombie movie: zombies were very slowly taking over a mall. On another set was the South Park episode where Cartman’s binder is alive and taking over everything in its path.

Wednesday 12 March 2003

When I arrived I made sure to get the woman working the door to stamp my notebook with the cat stamp. Sarah was present, taking a break from dressing Goth. We talked about getting together tomorrow. She said she’d heard someone say that there was a hooker supply store, where hookers bought cheap PVC and fishnet, that also happened to have eighties toys way in the back that had been there since the eighties! I have to see this. I started to write down requests, but Sarah said, “Just tell us!” I asked for “Telephone Call” or “Electric Cafe” by Kraftwerk; Bruce checked his CDs and didn’t have that album, but did have “Computer World,” which I also like.

Sergio and Leslie were there. I talked to Sergio and found out that he plays drums. Paul (South Africa) joked “It’s been a while since I saw you guys!” The woman with the bird-like mohawk and her boyfriend were there too. Her boyfriend looks like a Goth Rik Mayall. Jack was there. Nancy arrived wearing a sweater with black and white horizontal stripes; she said she wore it for warmth on the trip over, but was wearing “something more revealing” underneath (a nylon t-shirt).

Sarah explained that she’ll only be DJing at the Sound every other (f---ing) Wednesday now. I drew Sarah a map to my house, and she and Jack said it was the nicest map they’d ever seen.

Robert’s necklace chain is being dissolved by his skin. He wondered if he secretes acid. I have a necklace chain similar to his, but wear mine around my shirt collar.

In an historic moment, the other Goths moved their tables over to where Joe and Ryan and I were sitting!

I like the song “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.”

Sarah had channel 93 on one of the TVs!

I asked Nancy who bird-mohawk woman and Rik Mayall were, and she offered to introduce me. Their real names are Veronica and Vlad. I told Vlad that he reminded me of Rik Mayall and he seemed pleasantly amused.

Nancy noticed—even from where we were sitting—that there were pool balls missing from the set.

Todd arrived. Vlad, Veronica, and Nancy handed out chocolate Easter eggs. This made me realize that, for me at least, the ultimate Easter chocolate would be an Easter Island head (AKA moai) made out of chocolate.

A song was played that sounded like Morrissey doing a medley of all his singles backwards. I realized that “Morrissey” backwards is “Yes, sir, Rom.” Joe and I described to Ryan the latest commercial in the new Juicy Fruit campaign where two snowboarders attack a seventies hippie for playing the old Juicy Fruit song on his acoustic guitar. In the newest commercial, he’s busking on a sidewalk and they drive by in a garbage truck, sucking him into a narrow tube, and presumably thus killing him. Then they high-five each other and drive off. I wondered if they were trying to be self-deprecating and doing a very bad job. I was reminded of the Jack-in-the-Box ad where the now-ubiquitous anthropomorphized Jack detonates a boardroom after hearing the old pizzicato Jack-in-the-Box theme. Joe countered that that was a response to the earlier ad in which the old Jack-in-the-Box head (the microphone/speaker statue into which customers ordered) was blown up, and that this was Jack back for revenge.

Wednesday 5 February 2003

When Joe, Ryan, and I arrived only Jack and Bruce were there. Bruce was DJing (as DJ Contrasoma) and Jack was apparently helping Bruce set up. I heard a song I liked and asked Bruce what it was and he said “Disturbance” by the Legendary Pink Dots. (Actually, I mis-heard him say it as “The Legendary Big Knots,” and realized my mistake when I saw the track listed in his set-list on-line.) Jack left. Maddy arrived.

Joe put $1.50 into the pool table for a game. The table was missing a ball. This does not compare favourably with FRED or Mutiny, where the pool tables have the correct number of balls and are free.

I heard another song I liked—actually, I should say I liked another song I heard, since I didn’t know it. It went “(something) girl—I might like to know you—it’s below you…” Then “Down in the Park”; it sounded to me like a new version recorded recently by (original artist Gary) Numan since the vocals sounded like Numan’s in his recent song “RIP.” Once again comparing notes with Bruce later on-line, it turned out that this was Marilyn Manson, sounding like Numan on “RIP”! (Bruce says Numan thinks so, too.) I didn’t know Marilyn Manson could sing that well!

A song with the chorus “united” sounded like Throbbing Gristle’s “Subhuman.” At about 10:15 p.m., “Pocket Calculator” (Kraftwerk)! A very cute song. “I’m the operator with my pocket calculator!”

Ryan revealed that since December 2002 he’s been keeping a secret which he is now authorized to tell: Michelle wants to interview Purple on CITR. (Michelle seems to have quit the Sound.) Ryan advised Michelle to ask Purple herself.

Wednesday 8 January 2003

We arrived at 10:30 p.m. or 11:00 p.m. Sarah wasn’t there, but Michelle was. Leaf arrived. He looked at me as he walked by, so I nodded acknowledgement to him. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. Apparently the truce is off.

I went to the bar to get a second Coke, and the bartender didn’t materialize for a long time. Then she did, and apologized for taking so long. As at past Sounds, my second Coke was free.

Later, Sarah arrived. Later still, at five to midnight, the bartender said last call and shortly thereafter closed the bar.

Wednesday 27 November 2002

Wilfred acknowledged my apology (that I posted to van-goth) for bumping into the table at Mutiny and causing the record to skip. He was very friendly. He explained that he got the message but couldn’t reply to it due to a bug in YAHOO! Groups. Wilfred liked my latest roll of film and showed it to Sarah.

There was a guy at the Sound tonight who looked like David Cross. Sarah agrees.

I requested “Fashion” (Davie Bowie) and it was played. Wilfred has a huge David Bowie collection.

Weird event: a German-looking girl with long, greasy, very straight, flat, blonde hair danced toward me, then started grinding her crotch into my leg. I figured she was making fun of me, and saw that her friends at her table were laughing at me and whooping. I backed off, and the girl said, “Don’t you want to dance with me?” I motioned for her to approach me again, but she stayed where she was. More grinding and I tell her her friend (who is also dancing with us) looks like David Cross. She has no response. (Songs playing during this incident: “Der Kommissar“—Falco; “Don’t You Want Me”—Human League; “Girls on Film”—Duran Duran.)

I decided to leave and get some fresh air. Kim was just arriving. I said “Oh, hi, Kim,” and he said “Hey.” After I’d been outside for a while I heard the tell-tale “Ia ia ia ia ia ia ia ia ia” of “Go!” (Tones on Tail) and rushed back inside. Ryan said the pub owner sounded very pissed about something and wanted everyone out now.

Wednesday 20 November 2002

We arrived at 9:00 p.m., but no-one was there. The sign outside did say “Sound Machine.” We went to 7-Eleven and came back, and ordered Cokes. Sarah and Michelle and Wilfred arrived and began setting up.

A guy whose son has cancer talked to me for a while in the bathroom. Kim, Kevin, Jack, and other Goths arrived. Some British guy showed up right after them and called us “geeks,” causing me to think he was one of our opponents, but it turned out he was just an old gay man wearing all black who had just been beaten up by homophobes and that he was including himself in the “geeks” remark.

Kim found that the bartender was mean to him for no good reason when he ordered beer. He speculated that it had something to do with the dick in her mouth.

The Sound had to wait while a special two-hour Bachelor season finale finished. Ryan suggested the ideal solution would be The Goth Bachelor. At some point the Goths must have outnumbered the Bachelor-watching yuppies, because The Bachelor was turned off before it was over and the Sound was able to start before 10:00 p.m.

Good song: “Wake Up.” My request from a week or two ago, “Love Cats” (The Cure) was played. I danced my ass off.

We saw someone who looked like Kat, but wasn’t. Sarah looked like a young, non-glasses-wearing Edith Prickley tonight.

Wednesday 13 November 2002

This was my first Sound. With me were Joe and Ryan. The DJs Sarah and Michelle were there with Wilfred.

I brought the tape of New Wave music videos I’d taped off MuchMoreMusic for Sarah and she seemed pleased. Both she and Michelle were also happy that we’d come to see them.

The music was not entirely what I expected. At the beginning I was hearing things like “Me! I Disconnect from You” (Gary Numan) and “Major Tom” (Peter Schilling). Around the middle of the show there seemed to be a lot of sixties rock; I asked about that later and it turned out that that was requests. Toward the end of the show the inevitable EBM snuck its way in.

One audience member actually brought a rare record made by Charles Manson! It just goes to show it doesn’t matter if Manson isn’t Goth. :)

I also talked to Wilfred about the Cure. Apparently he loves the Cure; I said that I liked their dress sense but found their music dry. Then I added “but if you like loud, fast, rock with just guitars and drums then it’s good,” and Wilfred grinned and said “Exactly!” I think this was the first time I ever actually had a conversation with Wilfred even though I first met him at the Drink on Halloween 2001. Wilfred’s hair has changed—it used to be platinum blond and bushy which made him look like Billy Idol; now it’s Johnny Rotten red and extremely short. I took a photo of him and he did the Billy Idol fist and sneer; when I commented on it Sarah heard me say “Billy Idol” and told me not to call Wilfred that. :)

The bar (The Picadilly Pub) was odd. First I got my Coke for free, just like last time when Joe and Ryan and I went but the Sound was cancelled. Then I paid for the second one, but was told the refill on that second one was free. I didn’t know what to make of this; maybe the bartender just likes me. I tipped her generously on the free Cokes. The other odd thing about the bar was that the DJs were asked by the bar to keep the music volume down so that the mundanes could hear themselves talk. In a way I wasn’t entirely displeased with that; one thing I don’t like about Sanctuary is that the music is too loud hold conversations. Of course, music has to be loud enough that the audience can appreciate it, too.