The Gopher, the Lynx, and the World Wide Web

Once upon a time, there was an adorable little creature called the Gopher. It knew how to get its hands on all sorts of information. People would call the Gopher and ask it, "Can you tell me about this?" or "Do you know anything about such-and-such?" The Gopher, who was an eager chap and always willing to lend a helping hand, would rush off to find the needed information.

Unfortunately, things were growing more complicated for the Gopher. Too many people would call at the same time; people would complain because he couldn't get back to them soon enough or wasn't there when they called. The Gopher became quite surly at times and said, "Come back later, I don't have time to help you right now!"

One day, while the Gopher was out hunting information, he noticed an enormous Evil Spider spinning a gigantic web. It came to pass that the web grew bigger until it covered the entire world, and became known as the World Wide Web.

The Gopher began to notice little creatures running about on the Web. He learned that these were the minions of the Evil Spider, called Netscape and Mosaic. No matter how fast the poor Gopher ran, he could not catch either Netscape or Mosaic. The Gopher's temper went from surly to down right mean.

"It's bad enough that they run faster than I do," he thought to himself, "but I hate their flashy clothes and radical hair styles." Even though Gophers have always disliked those with garish appearances, he was beginning to feel somewhat old and drab.

Netscape and Mosaic said dreadful things to the Gopher, like "You're so slow!" or "Why can't you carry pictures like we do?" or "You should think about retiring, you old rodent!"

One day, when the Gopher was sitting on a tree stump taking a much needed rest, he saw, to his amazement, a beautiful, silky Lynx speeding along the Web. She didn't wear flashy clothes, her hair was neatly combed, and she didn't seem to be carrying any pictures at all.

The Gopher took an immediate shine to the Lynx, and invited her back to his tunnel for tea.

"I can't," purred the Lynx, "I'm busy rrrright now."

As the Lynx disappeared from view, the Gopher realized that she was like him, except that she could run on the Web and didn't have to dig tunnels. The Gopher was immensely relieved and decided that it was time to retire. He told all his customers to call the Lynx, disconnected his modem, had his accountant liquidate all his assets, and moved to a snug little tunnel in Florida.

THE END

(anon.)

Enhanced for Lynx